My husband and I have been to hell and back and we still find our life full of peace, kindness, love, happiness, and bliss. I’m crazy in love with him even though he can drive me up the wall sometimes. Like all seasoned marriages, there are the moments where communication seems like nails on a chalkboard (they never disappear in case you are wondering), and all you want to do is cover your ears or leave the room. Been there, done that! Then there are moments where you want to leap and jump for joy over your love for your spouse who said yes to YOU! Wow! To think someone would actually commit their life to this crazy mess!?
I’m amazed at the love and life we have cultivated in 10 years of being together. We have travelled to Israel, Mexico, Coast to Coast, flown on private jets, we had our two beautiful boys together, bought our first home (which was a nightmare to clean with two small boys—stories saved for another post!) Now we live in a 200sf AirBnB, the four of us! (Also, a story for another post.) What an incredible adventure…and I say this with a little bitterness…but only today because the feelings come and go.
What can you do to find that bliss in any season of your marriage? I recently did a Facebook livestream about life in general (you can watch it here) on Letting Go, Staying Present, and Moving Forward…which is part of finding bliss. As I move through life with my husband and my children I realize more and more that our destination is bliss and its all about how we “drive” the journey. Any season of your life generates a holy moment for you to grow and expand your awareness. Awareness of what? The kingdom of heaven, the love God has for you and your family, and the beautiful abundance that is yours now.
Getting to my Five Secrets for A Blissed out Marriage…
- Forgiveness! Start here. Anything your spouse has “done” to you, forgive him. I’ms surprised that when I look at the things of the past present or future that I thought my husband “did” to me was all in my head. Forgiveness is a way of letting go of what happened in the past and resetting the present. Forgiveness requires a continual account of checks and balances – always zero it out!
- Use your words! Find something great about your spouse, your surroundings, your experiences together and BLESS IT! Bless your life together. Many times we can go a bit too far complaining ro nitpicking about things in the categories mentioned above. Bless the things you can, change the things you want to change and don’t mention it!
- Use your body! Yep touch, hug, hold hands, cuddle on the couch, HAVE SEX for crying out loud! Who cares about the kids being asleep or watching tv (if its an afternoon quickie)! Just get your hands on your man and love him good! Do it in your bed, in the pantry, the attic (haha! That’d be….so strange…worth a try!) Be up for anything! Why not? You’re freaking married!
- Dream together. Talk about your dreams, plan them, be mature, be serious, get excited, and start taking action! Dreaming, planning, and moving forward in life is the most exciting thing! Don’t ever settle on same old same old. Be daring and mix it up. Change up the status quo and get free with your bad self! You are an amazing daring, adventurous woman…I hope you didn’t let marriage rake that in too far! Let it out and start dreaming…but just include your man in your dreams now!
- Include your children. Hanging out with our children is one of the coolest things we do together. This may make me seem incredibly nerdy, but we LOVE our children. They are the coolest people on the planet in our eyes. They entertain us, they care about us, and they are apart of our creation! We created them and we love them. Don’t ever miss the opportunities to include your children on the fun things you and your spouse do together!
Making a life together can be an incredible adventure when you have or are working on the skills mentioned above! One tip I did not mention, but is “old hat” is Pick Your Battles. One bonus little tip for letting go of the most irritating battles is to regain your perspective on the situation, get a grip on reality, then talk it out like mature adults (I know easier said then done, but regaining perspective has been the only way to completely resolve the feeling of “I want to tear your head off right now!”)
Cheers to a better marriage!